


The Sea of Statues - Prologue

by c2t2



Series: The Sea of Statues [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, Mystery Buttons, Traumatic Furniture, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 12:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20817608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c2t2/pseuds/c2t2
Summary: After Leaving Water 7, the Straw Hat Pirates explore their new ship.





	The Sea of Statues - Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be a long one... please enjoy this fun little beginning.

The Thousand Sunny was full of surprises.

The Strawhat Pirates were busy exploring their new ship as they sailed towards the Florian Triangle. It was clearly Franky’s Dream Ship - a lifetime of inventions and ideas crammed inside. Every nook and cranny seemed to have some kind of trick or hidden device.

One member of the crew was less than happy with Franky’s ingenuity. Zoro was annoyed that the rooms _moved around_, seemingly swapping places at random. This was intensely frustrating and after the aquarium and the kitchen switched places six times in a row, Zoro was getting fed up with blocking Sanji’s kicks at his head.

When he finally made it back out on deck, Zoro decided to go to and _stay in_ the only room that seemed to stay put. Other directions changed around all the time based which way you faced and where the stars were and what time of day it was and other such nonsense, but one direction never changed: up was always up.

Well, sometimes it was also north, but that just made things confusing again.

Since even Franky couldn’t mess with The Law of Up, Zoro reached the crow’s nest – and more importantly, the gym – on his first try.

Now as annoying as the moving rooms had been, even Zoro wasn’t immune to the excitement and the air of exploration on the ship, leading to him poking around his new weight room. All of the buttons and levers seemed to be shielded and out of the way enough that they wouldn’t be triggered by accident. That was good. It wouldn’t do to take a wrong step during training and activate some kind of whirling chainsaw death machine.

Huh. On second thought, that might be okay. It would keep his reflexes and awareness sharp, anyway. Maybe he’d talk to Franky about it sometime.

Zoro was currently investigating the seating that stretched around the edges of the room. What had first appeared to be an extended couch were actually separate seats placed so closely together that they looked like a single unit. The chairs were all the same color, but many of them seemed to be made of different materials. Zoro was completely clueless about such things and couldn’t identify anything beyond the labels of “cloth” and “some other kind of cloth” and “not cloth” and “something else that’s not cloth” and “maybe leather?” – so that wasn’t at all interesting.

More intriguing were the buttons hidden in the small gaps between the chairs. All of the seats seemed to have at least one, and Zoro – not usually prone to curiosity – decided to press a few of them.

Zoro poked the first button and (no he _did not_ jump) a footrest shot out with a loud clunk. Pressing the button again returned the seat to normal.

That was disappointing. Was it the same for all of them?

Zoro pushed the button on the next seat with considerably less caution and the seat reclined. The next one both the back reclined and a footrest shot up. The next one raised some armrests. Zoro snorted. Boring.

The next seat was more interesting, unfolding into a sparse but perfectly comfortable-looking cot. Zoro smirked, he had a feeling the nap-prone members of the crew might get some use out of that one. A few of their more uptight nakama might not like such a temptation so easily available during watch, but they needed to loosen up.

The next button turned the seat into something resembling the cot, but it had a lot of straps and a headrest and… were those wheels? Zoro cocked his head and took a few moments before he realized…

_A gurney?_ Zoro couldn’t suppress an eyebrow spasm. Shouldn’t that be in Chopper’s infirmary?

Whatever. The button on the next seat raised the armrests, and started… vibrating. What.

Not just vibrating, something under the backrest seemed to be _moving_. It was nearly a full minute before Zoro realized: _massage chair_.

Superficial massage like that could only feel nice, not substantially aid muscle recovery. It seemed a little decadent, but Zoro wasn’t going to judge. He moved on to the next seat and pushed the next button, completely unprepared for the chair to _explode_ out of place, rocketing up to smash into the ceiling and fall to the ground with a loud clatter.

…Okay NOW he was going to judge. Who in the fuck installs an _ejector seat_ in an enclosed room? Zoro nervously patted down the hairs on the back of his neck and moved on to the next seat while quietly adjusting his opinion of Franky’s sanity.

The next seat turned into a… lumpy thing; one smooth cushion over two mounds. One lump rose to about waist height and the other about knee-high. Zoro had no idea what it was. It might be kind of comfy to lounge on; maybe it was a weird couch? He continued on.

He recognized the next one almost right away based on his many years of overtraining. But he had never seen one so elaborate before. It was a massage table. But this massage table had a few frills – it could stretch to accommodate for a variety of body lengths, and there were separate rests for all the limbs, adjustable to various positions and heights. That would be useful. Moving into different positions helped in getting to the sore muscle in just the right way, which significantly sped up recovery. Zoro nodded in approval... or he started to.

Midway through the approving nod, he stopped as his spine went rigid with horror. There was a detail he’d only just noticed; a detail that made him readjust his entire opinion of Franky. _Again_.

The massage table contained more than the usual face-hole. There was another gap further down, _at groin level_.

There was an opening to access the crotch. On a massage table. With spreadable legs.

Franky was a _pervert_.

Zoro looked back at the seat that had turned into The Lumpy Thing. It wasn’t just a lumpy thing, he realized now, it was a _tantra chair_. A real, actual sex chair.

He hadn’t recognized it at first. Zoro knew such things existed mostly from that time he stumbled into a brothel (_totally by accident)_ while looking for a bar. It turned out the place served sake, so instead of trying to locate the elusive bar - he was pretty sure it was deliberately hiding from him - he’d stayed and drank with the clients and staff. _And that was all he did_. Really. (…He’d only had enough money to cover his drinks.)

So sex chair. Right.

Zoro was done exploring.

In fact, he thought to himself as he clicked the ejector chair back into place, he should never explore anything ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> SHIPPING and warnings (and all other notes, extras, and musings) for this series found at squizbee dot livejournal dot com


End file.
